Tears
by Happiness's Deceit
Summary: When Ayumu Yamazaki died, there were few that cried.  Or rather, there were few that could cry.


Peacemaker Kurogane doesn't belong to me, but instead to its respective creators and publishers.

* * *

"_The value of a person is said to be determined by the number of people crying when they die." _**–Rurouni Kenshin, Volume 24, Page 25**

* * *

When Ayumu Yamazaki died, there were few that cried.

Samurai were not to cry. It was against the code.

Ninja were not to cry. It revealed their weakness.

No one was to show weakness. Not to their enemies, nor to their comrades. Morale would be lowered.

And yet, when she died…a little part of everyone died with her. Codes were ignored, thoughts were ignored. Everyone broke a little, and their reflections blurred from their sight. They couldn't cry. They couldn't. They _couldn't._ They _couldn't let this crime go unpunished._ They would avenge Ayumu. They _would_. But, first—first they had to stop this terrible, terrible feeling. It would destroy them to act without accepting the truth of her death.

And silently, there were those who rose from the depths of their sadness to pull the others from their pools of despair. These were the people who had perhaps been supported most in their lives; the people whose hearts broke to see their pillars break down in such a manner.

The leaders…

* * *

"_Hijikata-san."_

_The other man walked quickly down the wood floors, not acknowledging Okita's cries._

"_Hijikata-san!"_

"_Souji, we're bringing down that Masuya bastard. I've already made the arrangements, so you get ready, too."_

"_Hijikata-san…"_

"_We'll use this information to crush Masuya, as well as Yoshida, who is probably taking shelter there." His voice shook._

"_HIJIKATA-SAN!" Okita said softly, painfully._

_Hijikata stopped._

* * *

The spies…

* * *

"_Stay away." Susumu's voice was cold. _

_Tetsunosuke, across the rooftop he had just climbed, looked at the broken brother sternly. He approached the male, very quietly, and then leaned upon his sullen back. _

"_What? The dog come to look at the loser? Or did you just come to see what a wretch I am…" The spy's voice was full of self-loathing. _

_Tetsunosuke paused. "You know, the other day…I had all sorts of things on my mind, and so I couldn't bring myself to eat the dinner. I think it was broiled fish, some stewed things, and… Oh, I drank the mis soup, but I could only eat about half of the meal…so I didn't finish it all. It was the last meal Ayu made and I _couldn't_ finish it. What's more, I didn't eat it while it was still hot." His voice shook with withheld tears. But Tetsunosuke wasn't sure why he was saying this to Susumu…it just kept… "I'm sorry, Ayu! I'm sorry!"_

"_Don't apologize."_

"_I'm so sorry!"_

"_Stop saying that. It's depressing!" Susumu shouted._

"_I'm sorry…I'm…sorry!" The tears flowing, endless, came pouring from his eyes._

_Susumu hesitated. "I should..apologize too… She took my place so I could become a full-fledged spy, and she died.. What was the point in rushing after her after that?" His voice was bitter._

"_But that was…" Tetsu argued lightly…_

"_And if I died on top of that, it would have been for nothing…" Susumu bit his lip. "I can't stand it! So what if I'm told I'm a failure of a spy!? I failed her, as her kid brother, a long, long time ago…Talk about coming up short." He sobbed, quietly into his wrist. "It's so stupid…and it pisses me off…It just pisses me off so much…And I just hurt all over, and I can't stand it!" He cried, tears flowing where they had once stopped._

* * *

And the samurai…

* * *

_The men around them were straining to hold back their tears, but Shinpachi hated himself._

"_If only…if only we had gotten there a little sooner, this wouldn't have…"_

"_It's all in the past now." Sanosuke's voice cut into his self-loathing. _

_Shinpachi couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Sano, what kind of thing to say is that!?" He shouted back, tears thick in his voice._

"_That's enough." Okita, seated ahead of them, reprimanded. "We are in Miss Ayumu's presence. So stop it."_

_The two captains dropped their shoulders and bowed, solemnly continuing to mourn._

* * *

…all needed the comfort that they could bring. Because, without those few that could reinstate their peace of mind—

The Shinsengumi would be broken.

And so, in the part of those who raised themselves up, comfort was shown.

* * *

"_It's not…It's not your fault, Hijikata-san."_

_The larger man's fist shot out into the wall beside him. "Then who!? Who is at fault for what happened to her?!" The wall splintered. "Who is to blame, Souji?!" His large shoulders shook._

_And Okita, who knew no words could console the vice commander, slipped delicately up to the older man and slipped his arms around Hijikata. They stood there for a moment, embracing, and delivering the comfort that words could never bring._

* * *

"_You know…" Tetsunosuke reflected, "That's not being pissed. That's called being sad." He turned towards the paler man, watching as the man who he had thought of as arrogant wet the rooftop beside him._

"_I never…I never…I never got to call her 'sister'." Susumu shook, outright sobbing now._

_Tetsu raised a hand to comfort him, but stopped in regret._

_A paler hand grabbed his own, and for a moment, they sat there together, one crying and the other taking the other's pain as much as he could._

* * *

_Okita exited Masuya's inn, greeting the man outside. He listened to the chaos within, and then, when he felt the presence of a spy, he turned. By doing so, he caught the attention of the man next to him._

"_Uh, um, Okita-sensei?"_

_Okita turned to look at him. "What is it?"_

"_Well," the man continued, "I just thought it was unusual for you not to storm in at a time like this."_

_Okita closed his eyes. "I want…to allow them to do as they please, if only for today. In this way, they will mourn for the lost."_

* * *

And by rising from their gloom, they slowly honored Ayumu's sacrifice for what it should have been.

They took in the man responsible for her death. They realized the truth of what was bound to happen…and…

When Ayumu died, there were few that cried openly. But in the heart of the Shinsengumi, the tears wouldn't stop. And that was the way it should be.


End file.
